Defining moments

Reaching inside my locker, exchanging one textbook for another, double-checking the lock, and rushing off to meet my friends in our usual hallway spot, I remember thinking, “this is what it feels like to be in high school.”

Punching my number into the timeclock, greeting early morning customers, and helping unload yesterday’s supply, I remember thinking, “this is what it feels like to have a job.”

Rolling down the window, blasting (well as loud as my sweet little Sentra speakers would allow) music, loosely waving my left arm in the breeze, I remember thinking, “this is what it feels like to have independence and freedom.”

Walking out of an interesting lecture, haphazardly carrying a notebook, archaic cell phone, and dorm keys on a lanyard, I remember thinking, “this is what it feels like to be a college student.”

Pulling a lasagna pan out of the oven, smoothing the creases of my apron, and kissing Kevin as he comes home, I remember thinking, “this is what it feels like to be a wife.”

Sitting with a group of kids, relating colonial days to our life, watching the connections and realizations cross their minds, I remember thinking, “this is what it feels like to teach.”

These memories are part of a collection, times in my life where I’ve stopped to take in the sights, sounds, and emotions of the experience.  Held on to the moment and committed it to memory.

Long before I was even pregnant, I dreamed about how I’d feel as a mama.  It has been almost one year since Owen joined us, and constantly redefines motherhood for me.

Holding his tiny newborn self in the crook of my arm and nursing.  Getting peed on (again).  Wrapping him burrito style into a swaddle and walking up and down the hallway to dreamland.  Sharing smiles.  Family naps in the big bed.  Wearing him for walks.  Taking apart the carseat to wash the spit-up off (again).  Cheering as he rolls from side to side.  Watching his delight in the bathtub, backyard, and dancing to music.  Carrying him into baby storytime at the library.  Feel my heart melt when he raises his arms up for me.  Preparing his first taste of solid food.  Wanting to record all of his babbling.  Leaning into Kevin as we watch him sleep in his crib.  Notice I have over 300 pictures for each month since his birth.  Calling the doctor to make a sick appointment.  Shopping for size 12months.  Planning activities around naps.  Loving every second with my son and wondering why time is going by so fast!

“This is what it feels like to be a mother.”